


Chapped Hearts

by steampunk



Category: No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Post Anime, make up kissing, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steampunk/pseuds/steampunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nezumi is completely unaware that Shion has been mentally unstable after the Correctional Facility blew up, and the pair can hardly look each other in the eye. However, one night, Shion comes home later than usual, waking Nezumi, and to Nezumi's surprise has a panic attack. What can Nezumi do to make Shion fell human again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapped Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Uwaa, this is my first time writing a proper kiss scene and have them take it this far, so I hope it came out well, if not, feel freee to completely batter this story, but leave something I can improve on. I've always felt that Shion, in the anime, took the murder he commited a lot better than he did in the novel or the manga, so i wrote something that kept bugging me, what could/should have happened to Shion if Nezumi hadn't left, nor he move into no.6.
> 
> enjoy~~
> 
> NOW WITH A DOUJIN FROM THE LOVELY [KAREREIKO](http://karereiko.tumblr.com/) ON TUMBLR  
> [Part One](http://karereiko.tumblr.com/post/125939595852/chapped-hearts-doujinshi-part-1-you-can-read)  
> [Part Two](http://karereiko.tumblr.com/post/130622885472/chapped-hearts-part-2-first-part-is-under-this)  
> [Part Three](http://karereiko.tumblr.com/post/132674089377/chapped-hearts-part-3-the-end-16-for-safety)

**Truths**

Nezumi had had a lousy day to say the least. After their adventure in destroying the Correctional Facility and uncovering the horrors of No.6, he was out of money, as well as energy and motivation to work for more; nevertheless, neither of them could live off the miniscule salary Shion was earning from Inukashi, which of course meant that he had to haul himself back to the theatre.

Acting wasn’t something Nezumi found difficult, in fact it came to him with great ease as he effortlessly slipped into the roles required; becoming the characters, absorbing their personalities, and knowing their life stories. A harmless bit of fun had lead him to being known as a local ‘celebrity’, if you will, in the west block.

Leaning back on his chair, Nezumi sighed loudly, unable to stop himself and cursed under his breath. Sighing is a form of weakness; it leaves you vulnerable, open for attack. Oh, what has Shion done to me? he wondered. Biting down another sigh, Nezumi stood up and carried his paraffin lamp to the sofa, placing it on their chipped coffee table.

Shion should be back by now; hell, he should have been back two hours ago. It was dark outside, not to mention the absurd sub-zero temperatures. There was no way Inukashi would let Shion work this late, nor could he physically keep working for 14 hours. Nezumi pondered on; he may have been attacked in the street, captured my No.6, gotten lost, or of course the usual of falling asleep with the dogs when he works late. When considering that Shion doesn’t actually get paid to work over time, it irritated Nezumi to no ends that Shion is always adamant to finish his job. Who cares if the dogs aren’t sparkling clean if they’re going to be back in the same filthy state in a matter of days?

Sinking into his sofa, he let his fatigue and frustrations crawl over him as he laid down, his head resting softly against the armrest, legs tucked in. An all too familiar scent engulfed him, soothing over his worries for another day. Shion. The months he’d spent sleeping there had had its effect. A small smile twitched at Nezumi’s lips, his mind at some peace. Shion would come home; besides it’s not like he’s eaten in who knows how long. Nezumi glanced over to the stove with the now cold stone soup, the pot untouched. He hadn’t the heart to eat until Shion had come home. Before completely offering himself up to sleep, Nezumi reached for the lamp and blew out the flame, letting the dulled darkness wash over him.

***

It took a lot longer than expected to get through all of the sleeper dogs for Inukashi. The summer nights were especially cold and Shion couldn’t help but wonder if Safu was punishing him for not saving her. Swallowing the pang of guilt and bubbling emotions, Shion rolled down his shirt sleeves and picked his coat and jumper -both sodden by dirty dog water, and headed back to the hotel struggling to carry the large wash basin. Without saying goodbye to Inukashi per usual, he placed the basin against the wall and then stuffed his clothes into a torn canvas bag before setting off towards his room, hoping that Nezumi had left the heater on before he went to work.

The wind whipped his white locks, the moonlight shone them silver. Tucking his head deep into his chest and averting his eyes upward, Shion ambled forwards over the debris from the clean-up day. The clean-up day. Shion shuddered, the memories still fresh in his mind.

The screams and cries. Bodies being flung around by the sound blasters as though they were no more than rag dolls. Sharp images of corpses, and orphans cradled in the cold arms of their parents sliced through Shion’s mind. He stumbled -and smiled grimly.

Stopping to lean against a broken building, Shion bent over.

“I’m still human,” he grimaced, “I can still feel the pain of others. I’m... I’m not a monster, I-”

_The gun in his hand._

_The power of the bullet ripping through his arm._

_Nezumi begging him to stop._

_Nezumi...crying._

Shion was starting to black out. The days’ worth of hard work, poor nourishment, and being completely unprepared for the cold in his cotton shirt was affecting him- badly. Clutching both sides of his stomach; he held in a cry, then leaned to the side and threw up a weak, yellow, dribble. The memories, his actions, were hammering into his head as he stumbled away from the wall trying to find his balance.

“I murdered.” The recurring thought was branded onto his skin with hot iron. Shion only took a few steps before he fell onto his knees, the ends of shatters glass threatening to break his skin. Peeling his hands away from his abdomen, Shion held them out in front of himself -they shook in shame.

“These are the hands of a killer, a murderer, and a monster,” Shion muttered under his breath, his words whisked away by the winds. “I’m- I’m no different from them. No-”

He shook his head violently, but the thoughts clung onto him like fleas. Teeth chattering wildly, Shion staggered back to his feet. I can’t stay out too long, he thought - no longer able to move his mouth in fear of tearing his chapped and cracked lips.

Weakly picking up his bag, Shion stumbled his way back to their room, too mentally tired to conjure up any thoughts other than lying down on his makeshift bed for the next few hours. The thought powered his journey across the barren land and finally down the stairs.

There wasn’t a light shining from under the door, but it was to be expected these days since Nezumi had been working quite late. With all the money Nezumi had used to help him get into the Correctional Facility, Shion was surprised that he hadn’t been kicked out yet. Shouldering his bag, he fumbled around for his keys in his pocket. His fingers felt frozen and nimble as they traced through the wet fabric to find the opening to his pocket.

Panic began to set in when he couldn’t feel their outline. Dropping his bag, Shion brought around his around his other hand and pattered down his trouser. Nothing. Frustration was building up inside him like a boiling kettle. There was no way he could last the night until Nezumi came home. In a burst of anger, tiredness, hunger, and pure annoyance, Shion kicked out at the door.

To his surprise, it flew open. Unfortunately, instead of relief, it set off alarm bells. Nezumi wasn’t home yet so that could only mean that they’ve been ransacked. People were desperate, even in their room of practically nothing, some may see treasures. Kicking in his bag, Shion shuffled into the room then closed to the door behind him, immersing himself in darkness. When he couldn’t find the lamp that Nezumi left on top of the piano every morning Shion’s fear rose.

Had the place really been ransacked or- Shion stopped dead in his tracks when he heard soft intakes of breath coming from the sofa. Nezumi?

Manoeuvring around the room, effortlessly as though he had lived there his entire life, Shion made his way toward the sleeping figure he could vaguely see through the darkness. True, he was very familiar with the rhythm of those gentle breaths, the outline of that figure, but Nezumi would never leave the door open, especially if he was planning on sleeping. Shion edged next to the figure, first unsure of who it was then realized that Nezumi’s hairnot had come undone, framing his face in charcoal locks.

“Dummy,” Shion mumbled under a smile. He reached out brushed a few strands away from Nezumi’s eyes, knowing how Nezumi hated his hair falling in his eyes. Before he could withdraw his hand, Nezumi’s came up and clutched his.

“Mmmm, Shion you’re late,” Nezumi mumbled, waking slowly from his slumber. Not wanting to let go of Nezumi’s warm hand, Shion sat down where Nezumi’s body arched into the sofa.

“A lot of dogs,” Shion said as best he could. He’d been out for too long and his voice and lips felt like they had been scraped repeatedly against an old fashioned cheese grater. Nezumi sat up and shuffled across, bringing his legs onto the floor. Neither of them turned on the lamp, both their eyes adjusted to the dim light from the bulb above. A silence filled the air as the pair struggled to find something to say.

To Shion, it felt as though a heavy wall had built itself between Nezumi and himself. After Nezumi had seen what a twisted creature he was, Shion couldn’t even bring himself to meet Nezumi’s eyes. All those nights spent staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, Shion realized that although Nezumi claimed that he has killed, he only witnessed him injuring the guards at the Facility. He hadn’t murdered anyone, in fact he had saved Shion’s lives multiple times without killing anyone- and then there was himself. He had completely lost himself in a matter of minutes. He had become a monster, but what scared him the most was that it had always been inside him. He-

“Shion?” Nezumi cut through his thoughts. “Hey, Shion. Shion!”

Blinking quickly, Shion snapped out of it, and stared back at Nezumi, confused.

“Could you... loosen your grip?” Nezumi brought his line of vision down to their interlocking hands. Shion followed. “It kind of hurts.”

Despite the playful tone, Shion noticed Nezumi wince. Swiftly untangling his hand, he watched Nezumi rub his hands over each other, soothing the angry red imprint.

“Sorry, I hadn’t realized,” Shion apologized, averting his eyes away. He’d hurt Nezumi again. Bringing his shaking hands to his knees, he clawed onto them tightly, trying to stop the tremors.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nezumi said, uneasily. Nodding, Shion started to rise but Nezumi pulled him down again. Too surprised, he fell back limply, and banged his head against the wall above the sofa. He clenched his teeth, and rubbed his head furiously.

“So- sorry,” managed the grey eyed boy between chuckles. They eventually died down when Nezumi realized Shion wasn’t laughing. A line of worry creased his forehead.

“Shion,wha-”

“I should take a bath, I reek of dog,” Shion mumbled, trying to get off the couch again.

Nezumi wrapped two arms around his waist and pulled his back down again- more carefully this time. The cotton of Shion’s shirt was stiff from the dried sweat of hard labour. Nezumi’s eyes widened in realization.

“Wait, Shion. Where’s your coat? Don’t tell me you walked home in the cold dressed like that?” Nezumi inhaled sharply. Shion muttered a half-hearted response, struggling to get out of Nezumi’s grasp. He felt dirty against someone as kind as Nezumi, yet drawn to his heat- the body warmth of another proved to be far warmer and comforting than any radiator No.6 could ever offer him.

“I’m fine,” he stammered, clenching his fists to shake his fingers shaking. Nezumi didn’t miss a thing; concern glazed his eyes.

Shion forcefully looked up at the ceiling when he felt Nezumi’s hand atop his, strong fingers clasping his trembling digits. Every passing second, the temperature inside his head rose by another hundred degrees, his face was turning beetroot under Nezumi’s concentrated gaze. Palms sweaty, Shion tried to squirm out of Nezumi’s clutch but yet again Nezumi refused to let go.

“Shion, I’m not letting you go until you calm down,” he said sternly.

“I’m fine,” Shion stammered, tightening his fist. He felt light headed and woozy, the room was spinning and there were three light bulbs in place of one. Calm down, Shion forced himself to think- fighting through bombardments of pain that shot through his head, just stay calm until-

His breath hitched; it felt like there was a lump of hot coal had lodged itself in his throat. His lungs were filling up with smoke. Slumping forward over his knees, Shion started to hyperventilate. It was as though if he didn’t actively tell himself to breathe, he would stop altogether. Beads of sweat streamed down his face, threatening to drop at his chin. Breathe, breathe, breathe! Shion sucked in lungfulls of air, struggled to keep it in, then coughed it out- he couldn’t stop coughing. Each breathe wretched his chest, hacking his lungs- he was no longer able to breathe. His brain vaguely registered this amidst the chaos. Wheezing, Shion strained to suck in weak slivers of air before erupting into another fit of coughs only moments later.

The hand around Shion’s tensed sharply.

“Hey, Shion. Oi, Shion, Shion!” Nezumi frantically shouted, his voice rising an octave. Shion was transfixed on the stain on the carpet, he couldn’t move, he dared not to move. His body felt dislodged; his soul and body unaligned and fighting each other. The world faded in and out of focus.

“Nezu-” Shion weakly gasped, before he felt an upsurge of bile forcing itself up his throat. Doubling over, he lunged forward, tearing away from Nezumi’s grasp and onto his knees- the force of his drop burning his skin under his trousers. Shion grasps his throat, clawed at it, racking livid rivers of red in frustrating. His body shook vividly, soaking his shirt in sweat and newly blood, wrapping him tighter and tighter in his own skin.

Feeling trapped, constrained and confined by filthy chains, Shion dug his fingers into his throat, trying to force them into himself. A surging urge to tear off his skin overpowered everything else, Shion screamed at the ceiling, at himself, at the world- and collapsed against his heels, body shivering as a wave of cold air hit him full force and darkness folded over.

***

An arm snaked around Shion’s torso firmly, supporting him before he fell backwards. Nezumi had rushed to open the door, letting in the cool night, allowing their room to breathe. His eyes never left the teen twisting and thrashing on the floor. The paraffin lamp laid shattered on the floor, all too close to Shion. Nezumi’s heart was spiked with fear, he hadn’t seen Shion this- this messed up, yet he couldn’t ignore the nagging thought telling him it was to be expected. Shion had killed that man, yet he hadn’t cried, or screamed or broken down- he hadn’t acted like Shion would have and that scared Nezumi; and it didn’t help that Shion refused to look him honestly in the eyes, not even once. The absence of trust between the pair of them felt like a dense void, swallowing up any effort made by him, his thoughts unable to reach the silver haired teen.

Holding Shion firmly against his own chest, closer than they’d been the past few weeks, Nezumi checked the teen’s pulse and breathed a little lighter. Steady but weak, come on Shion- pull through this, Nezumi urged him on silently.  Slipping an arm under his knees also, he lifted Shion up gently and placed him carefully on to the bed.

Nezumi noticed a sheen of sweat covering Shion’s body, wet patches moulding Shion’s shirt to his lean frame. He stared down at the boy confused and hurt. Why hadn’t Shion said anything to him? How long has this been going on for? Nezumi had had to work very late for the past couple weeks, so by the time he gets home Shion is always asleep.

Did- did Shion really not trust him any longer?

Did he honestly blame him for the death of Safu?

Gritting his teeth, Nezumi shoved those dangerous thoughts aside and focused on the current problem. Quickly dropping to his knees, Nezumi reached for Shion’s shirt hastily only to stop abruptly. Was this right? Was he crossing the boundary? He’d seen Shion naked before when he first saw the red snake that coiled Shion’s body, so what difference should this make? Since when had he cared about boundaries when it came to Shion? Nezumi couldn’t push past that hollowness that was fixed between the two, creating boundaries that never existed before.

His fingers trembled above Shion’s buttons. Nezumi’s eyes flickered to Shion’s face and saw the teen’s eyes scrunched together painfully, face a deathly pale, and hair matted to his head. The area around his snake was inflamed and crimson- a harsh contrast in comparison to Shion’s pale complexion. Nimbly reaching for Shion’s shirt button, Nezumi undid each one carefully as not to hurt him with his butterfly footsteps against Shion’s torso.

The shirt lay open on both sides, but Shion was still shifting uncomfortably in Nezumi’s bed. The older teen hoisted Shion up into a weak sitting position then slumped the unconscious teen against his own chest- Shion’s chin resting on his shoulder, head lolled against his own. Both hands freed, Nezumi peeled the shirt off Shion, revealing the scar that took Nezumi’s breath away every time. Discarding the shirt into the far corner near the piano with one smooth swing of his arm, Nezumi turned his attention back to the boy resting against him. Shion’s breathing was evening out and he’d stopped trembling. Relief washed through Nezumi.

Shion, oh Shion, won’t you tell me what is running through that mind of yours? Nezumi wondered, placing a hand at the base of Shion’s head, untangling the white strands. He traced the snake on Shion’s back absentmindedly until his fingers reach the younger teen’s cheek. Smoothing his thumb affectionately over the scar like he had done a thousand times before, Nezumi  wrapped an arm around the boy securely and held him in a lingering embrace, captivated by Shion’s breathing on his neck- mists of warmth and compassion. His fingers eventually found Shion’s lips, chapped from the cold night and a hard days' work dehydrated at the least.

Moving on compulsion, Nezumi shifted Shion slightly in front of him, angled his head and graciously placed his lips over the ivory teens’.

***

Hot, white pain seared through Shion’s mind. Flashback to the Correctional Facility fuelled the fires burning down his mind. Safu, his mum, Nezumi, and No.6. All those lives destroyed and slaughtered by Elyurias because he couldn’t save Safu, because he couldn’t make a serum in time, because he couldn’t find the third option, because he had let his humanity go. That night, not only had he murdered that man, but he had murdered the only part of himself that he had any confidence in believing was real. His belief and level of importance regarding human life- he had thrown away in mere seconds.

What had Safu seen? Did she- did she still see him as Shion or some sort of twisted, evil, incarnation of No.6?

Shion drifted further into the darkness, making no effort to fight back. His heartbeat slowed, his breathing became shallow. Just give up, a voice inside him soothed. Is living a life with the blood of thousands and one on your hands worth it? You’ve lost your self; Shion no longer exists. You have no right to be on this earth. A life for a life, Shion.

I could do this, Shion thought, his resistance slipping away, I could give up. I could save Nezumi from living with an abomination like me; I could keep my mother from finding out how sick and heartless her son is. I could offer myself to Elyurias, payment for what I took, for what these two hands will take again. I cou-

Shion’s eyelids fluttered, breaking his line of thought. An electric shock shot up his back, small bursts of a scorching heat that didn’t burn softly danced across his back. Too weak to move, or retaliate, Shion rested... against Nezumi?

A cold gust of wind brushed his lower back, sending shivers up his spine- he shook involuntarily. Moments before attempting to open his eyes, he felt Nezumi guide his face away from the shoulder he was leaning on and held him with one hand cupping his face, the other between his shoulder blades. The feeling of Nezumi’s hand against his bare skin was comforting and at the same time, unnaturally unnerving.

Forcing his eyelids to slits, a dim darkness filled what little vision he had. Two grey orbs stared at his, filled with a deep heart-warming passion, care, and uncertainty. Before he could react, Nezumi drew his face closer and lightly pressed his soft lips against Shion’s coarse pair.

The fact that Nezumi was kissing him took longer to register. His mind was fuzzy but he vaguely recognized the unfamiliar feel of his senses heightening. Consciousness seeped back into him, as Nezumi deepened their kiss, running his tongue across Shion’s battered lips. It wasn’t long before Shion had both eyes open and stared at Nezumi in shock, not kissing back, not stopping him. His arms dangled limply by his side, Nezumi supporting him fully.

The feeling of Nezumi’s tongue grazing his lips, pressuring the cracks in his skin- the sharp pricks of pain followed closely by remedying rush of relief. Shion relaxed into Nezumi, and to his own surprise brought his own arms around Nezumi’s neck, pulled them closer.

Nezumi’s eyes snapped open, staring in shock directly back into Shion’s. Confusion flickered across them momentarily, replaced quickly by uncertainty as Nezumi tried to pull away, guilt lacing his features. Shion tilted his head and stared back in full intensity, not wanting Nezumi to stop- he craved the feeling of his lips against those of the older teen. Nezumi succumbed to Shion’s wishes, soothing the sickly teen’s lips before finally pulled away. A trail of saliva stretched between the two. Nezumi wiped it away from Shion’s lips carefully.

Shion sucked in his lips and wiped his own tongue across them. Nezumi held his gaze, untainted by Shion’s flushed face, a small smirk played along his lips. The pair rested their foreheads against one another, their breaths mixing, eyes hiding nothing.

“So, how was it?” Nezumi murmured quietly, under his breath. The moon shone teen bit his lip, considering his words carefully.

“It wa-” he shook his head slightly, then stared down at the floor. “It was truly amazing.”

“You have the vocabulary of a chimpanzee,” he chuckled, catching Shion’s eye. “That, Shion, is how you kiss someone- well for the basics.” Nezumi and Shion, still in their embrace, fell silent, feeling the tension between the two of them melting away.

Shion was the first to pull away; untangling his arms from Nezumi’s neck, he shuffled backward, feeling exposed without his shirt. The room was chilly. Light, wafer thin puffs clouded in front of them. Shion shivered.

His moment of peace Nezumi had created dissipated with every passing second as the black hole within him resumed, consuming his soul. His arms slackened and he leaned back against the wall. Shion’s smile fell into a heavy grimace, his eyes dulling. The ropes around his heart tightened once more, the feeling of being strangled inside, and the futility against it all shackled Shion.

Watching in silence, his eyes followed Nezumi as he closed the front door. Nezumi’s posture was slumped, Shion found it unusual to the actor to be so worn down, to let his guard down so. Slowly, Shion shuffled to the edge of the bed, readying to take a bath. He scanned the room for his shirt to wash it also, but had no luck in finding it. Nezumi settled himself next to the quivering teen.

“Sorry, about that.” Nezumi said, offering his jacket to Shion, however Shion declined, not wanting to make it smell of sweat. His own body odour was sickening him.

The shower room was beckoning him but Shion found it difficult to move away from the grey eyed boy, curious about their last embrace. Why had Nezumi done that? Was it another goodbye kiss as he had done previously? Did Nezumi really want him gone? Shion huffed through his nose. Of course Nezumi would want him gone, after all, who would live with a monster like himself? Who would want themselves dirtied by his filthy hands? Who wou-

“Shion,” Nezumi said, his voice startling Shion. Shuffling toward him, Nezumi placed Shion’s head onto his shoulder, sharing body heat. Shion’s face burned. “Would you mind explaining what happened?”

Shion felt threatened though Nezumi’s tone was nothing but calm, his voice soft and worried. He felt as though these feelings were wrong when he was with Nezumi- as though he wasn’t allowed to have them, yet if he didn’t have them at all, who would he be? If he didn’t feel the crushing guilt, hear the screams of the thousands he couldn’t save echoing in his ears night and day?

“I’d just be a murderer,” Shion muttered subconsciously, the breath barely leaving his lips before Nezumi’s hand tightened in his hair. “That’s it, I am nothing- I’ve just failed, and killed. I’ve lost myself, I…” He could feel tears prickling at his eye lids, yet refused to let them drop. He didn’t deserve to cry. Shion started into to the room, his eyes losing focus as his mind swam into deeper, dangerous water.

“I’m not saying this again, Shion,” Nezumi seethed, “You’re going to tell me what the hell is going through that mind of yours before I have to force it out of you at knife point.” Neither of the two looked at each other. Shion remained silence, though tensing as he felt Nezumi's temper rising.

“Damn it, Shion!” Nezumi shouted, jerking Shion’s head painfully. “You come home hours late in just a shirt, cold to the bones, then have a panic attack, if that’s what you call it, and then black out! Now you refused to tell me what the heck is going on! You’re acting like a child! I can’t kiss you better all the time like your mother does, so open that mouth and bloody tell me!” Shion winced under Nezumi’s glare and refused to acknowledge the hurt in Nezumi’s eyes.

Keep shouting, Shion thought weakly, his head held at a twisted angle. The roots of his hair were like pins prickling his scalp. I deserve this, this and more. Take out your anger, your true feelings. Tell me what exactly I am. Burn it into me, cut it into me. Let me experience the pain of those who died under my actions.

Kill me, Nezumi, kill m-

Shion felt a sharp slap slice across his face. His head snapped to the side, Nezumi’s palm printed onto his cheek.

“DON’T YOU DARE THINK LIKE THAT.” Nezumi fumed, his body shaking. Shion stared dumbfounded when he saw tears forming at Nezumi’s eyes. “Don’t you- Don’t you ever think like that again.”

“Nezumi,” Shion whispered.

“I’ve lost you once already. You were inches away from me, and I lost you to No.6. I don’t care how you’re living, how you’re coping, but if you give up, if you give up now then you’re no longer Shion. Shion would fight through with everything he had.” Nezumi’s voice was thick with emotion, a single tear trailed down his cheek. “Shion would live, he would win no matter what it took. He would never- never utter those words.”

Shion placed a hand on Nezumi’s back, trying to comfort him. Nezumi threw his attempt to dust. ~“I’m not here to be comforted dammit.” He shook his head, and furiously palmed his tears. “Why Shion? What happened to you?”

“I- I-” Shion stammered, unable to get his words together under Nezumi’s honest eyes. He looked away ashamed.

Why?

“I don’t deserve to be alive. You saw what I did, you saw me murder than man. You are well aware of how I couldn’t save no.6. The cure was running in these veins, and yet I couldn’t save them. I used it to kill. No.6 or not, they were human, like us. I… I forgot and I threw it away to… to…”

“To save my life.” Nezumi finished his sentence affirmatively, smoothing down Shion’s hair, fiddling with a few rogue strands.

“But I…”

“No, Shion. You saved my life, again, and again. The price it comes at has always been high. First you lost your education, and your home. You now have the blood of another on your hands, but always remember that even when I had given up with two bullet wounds, you kept me going. You’ve always given me hope, a light shining down on my darkness.”

“Nezumi.”

“You didn’t kill in cold blood, Shion. You killed to protect another. A life for a life,” Nezumi drew Shion’s eyes to his. “That man helped kill Safu. That man probably killed many more than you would ever even think you could. We couldn’t save Safu. I am also partly to blame for not being able to get there fast enough; I even have the guilt of thinking about leaving her. But, Shion, you destroyed that evil and you saved my life, you destroyed the Correctional Facility and avenged her. You saved so many lives No.6 would have heartlessly taken as though they were nothing. You made your third option real, remember- you broke down that wall.”

Shion stared back, his eyes swimming. Nezumi voiced everything his guilt and shame had clouded over.

“After doing all that, you’re not a murderer Shion, you’re… you’re… anything but that. You deserve every breath you’re taking and another. Think how proud your mother will be to know that you destroyed the parasite eating away at the city?” Nezumi broke a small smile.

“Mum, huh?” Shion said, his lips etching up. Where nothing but regret and fear of facing his mother sat was quickly replaced by a warmth and yearning.

“Think about Inukashi, Rikiga, little Shionn, that girl- Lilly, the kids who you read to, ah, even those filthy dogs. Don’t you think you’ll be missed?”

Shion looked up, and bit his lip uncertainly.

“What about you? Would you miss me?”

***

Nezumi stunned by Shion’s question, was unable to reply. The answer was obvious, in fact it may as well have been plastered on his forehead. Was this airhead really that thick, Nezumi wondered in disbelief. After all that, did he really doubt Nezumi’s feelings?

 

Shaking his head, Nezumi leaned towards the younger boy, and placed his lips against the other. He brought his hands to Shion’s hair, positioning him in place and wiped that frown off Shion’s face. This time, the pair stared into each other’s eyes, having a conversation they couldn’t through their mismatching words. Shion brought his hands to Nezumi’s waist, holding him closer, and understanding the answer to his question. The pair grinned into each other’s mouth.

Nezumi slid his tongue across Shion’s lips, asking for entrance which Shion eagerly allowed. Shion gasped as his tongue entered the boy’s mouth. Deepening their kiss, Nezumi explored the silver haired teen’s caverns, suppressing a moan himself. Shion offered no resistance as Nezumi took control.

Shion’s hands slipped under Nezumi’s shirt and traced the taunt muscles across his back, his fingertips sending small shock of fire through Nezumi’s body. A moan broke through into Shion’s mouth, and he felt Shion smile in satisfaction against his lips.

Two can play at that game, Nezumi thought.

His hands gripped tighter in Shion’s hair, their lips moving in sync; mixing their breaths, eyes closed in pleasure. Nezumi leaned forwards, pushing Shion onto his back against the bed, his leg between Shion’s thighs. Heat radiated off the boy below, neither broke the kiss as Nezumi laid down on top of Shion’s bare chest, the rough fabric scraping his skin. Nezumi pressed his body tighter against Shion, his legs rubbing painfully against Shion. He felt fingers ranking his back, lifting his shirt above his shoulders, and over his head. Discarding it to the side, the couple lay bare chested against one another, carefully exploring their bodies with their fingers, groaning with desire.

Nezumi felt light headed, the shock of what he was doing, what Shion was doing, had long faded and he was trying to get the most out of the inexperienced boy. Through slits, Nezumi noticed Shion’s face glowing bright red, his eyes screwed shut. Alarm bells began dully ringing in his head; this was going too far. Shion had been upset, he was looking for comfort, and Nezumi couldn’t take advantage of that.

Drawing away his tongue, he slowing down his pace to a softer massaging of Shion’s lips, Nezumi released Shion’s mouth allowing the pair to breath. He retracted his hands away from Shion’s chest and placed them either side of the boy, lifting himself above him. Nezumi’s hair fell around his face, the long strands tickling Shion.

Looking down, he saw the boy with his eyes glazed and tear streaking down his cheeks, pooling in his ears. His face glowed crimson, hair ruffled, and mouth parted gently. Shion’s arms were resting by his side, no longer trembling. Nezumi wiped away the tears but they kept flowing. A sob erupted from Shion’s chest. Rolling to the side, Shion curled up.

Nezumi rolled over beside him, taking Shion’s hands into his own.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Shion muttered, his eyes closed, chest rising, dropping, rising, dropping.

“Good.” Nezumi mumbled, squeezing Shion’s hand. “You mean an awful lot to me, more than you could imagine, so store that away, if anything, in that super brain of yours.”

Shion turned his head toward Nezumi, his eyes still closed. He must be exhausted, Nezumi thought. His eyes flickered towards the clock that read 3am. It was way past his bedtime.

“Hey, Nezumi?”

“Mmmm, yeah?”

“I…”

Nezumi waited for Shion to finish, but saw the teen slipping into sleep.

“I think… I think… I lo…” Shion murmured, unable to finish his sentence before he gave in and let unconsciousness engulf him.

Nezumi chuckled softly glad to have relieved Shion of his burden. The boy’s face was more relaxed than it had been in weeks.

“Dummy. I know”


End file.
